I recently decided to slightly change the font color on the
back cover of one of my paperbacks, “Baggage Claim.” Unfortunately, what should
be a quick, simple task often turns into something much more time-consuming and
difficult. The website messed up, and I ended up needing to redo the entire
cover. Finally finished, I signed, sealed, and delivered the book and then ordered
myself a copy that I needed to personally deliver. Two days later, my book
arrived. The new font color looked great, along with everything else. Then I
turned the book on its spine and read the words, “Booke One.”
I just started laughing. The typo was entirely my fault, and
by this time, the only thing I can do about my frequent, ridiculous screw-ups
is to laugh. You see, this is not something new. I am not one of those special
people who seems to glide gracefully through life getting everything right.
Instead, I manage to slip on every banana peel within about a ten foot radius
of my path! Historically, I do have pretty ridiculous bad luck, but most of the
stuff that happens to me is my own fault. I’ll admit it: I’m a klutz in just
about every way.
Now I know some of you may not believe me, but here are just
a few gems to prove my point. A couple of years ago, we lost my three-year-old’s
camera within a couple weeks after he got it for his birthday. We searched the
entire house and couldn't find it. Months later, we gave up and replaced the
camera with a used one. About six months later, I found the camera. In my
closet. Where I had put it after taking it away for misbehavior. Throughout
that entire time, the memory never surfaced until my hand touched the camera. I
still have bad mommy guilt for that one. That’s right. If you misbehave in my
house, you lose your favorite toy for at least EIGHT MONTHS!
Unfortunately, my tendency to be both a mental and physical
klutz didn’t start with adulthood. For
as long as I can remember, I’ve tried to march to the tune everyone else is following,
and never seemed to succeed. When I was in college, I played the part of a “lovely”
in a community play. My job was just to glide on stage in a pretty gown and
announce the different acts with a placard. During one of the performances to a
packed house, the spotlight cut off early as I descended the stage steps in the
dark theater. It came on again… right as I tripped and fell in a not-so
graceful heap. A sweet old man toddered over to help me up. With nothing hurt
but my pride, I stood to my feet and curtsied to the audience.
As embarrassing as that was, it didn’t really compare to
what happened once when I was in a pageant once. Yes, I competed in scholarship
pageants as a way to help earn money for college, and maybe I was searching for
a little of whatever pageant girls had that made them appear so perfect. In
this particular pageant, I only discovered my faux pas after it was over. I was
later told that I would have won the swimsuit competition if the tag of my
swimsuit not been sticking out the back of my tankini bottoms! So yes,
apparently I sashayed around the stage in front of an audience with my swimsuit
tag flapping in the breeze! Worse, I was also told that the scores of the
pageant had been so close, that I would have won the entire competition had my swimsuit
not been flying its white flag of surrender!
And the list goes on. Yes, I am a screw-up. I’ll spare you
more examples; just be assured that I have a lovely little replay of classic
Amanda moments that conveniently replays through my mind at the most special
times!
Looking on the bright side, the redeeming virtue of being me
is that I am not boring. I laugh and I cry a lot, but life is interesting. I
always wonder what other people are really like under the Facebook persona they
present to the world. Are they really these amazing, accomplished super-people
that have it all together? I don’t know for sure, but I suspect that,
underneath it all, most of you are screw-ups just like me!
In my case, I have managed to use my faults and experiences
to create realistic characters in my books, or at least, characters that have
faults like me. The character of Hannah in the “Yesterday” series has a lot of
my insecurities and quirks that mirror my own maybe a little too closely. The
entire idea for book “The Random Acts of Cupid” was based on one of my own
screw-ups in high school. Every book I've written has some element of my own
reality to it.
While my female heroines are smart and strong, they tend to
be klutzy and have life happen to them. They aren't perfect. They have
confidence issues, they fall on their face, they get angry, they make the wrong
decisions, and yes, they slip on banana peels. Sometimes their experiences are
worth a laugh, sometimes a cry, but they are always interesting.
So maybe I wouldn't want to be perfect, even if I could be.
I’ll take every screw-up I have and, by God’s grace, allow Him to turn them
into something good. After all, God would have never needed to come save the
perfect. Maybe it is through our mistakes and imperfections that His beauty and
glory can truly shine.
I’ll just tally this latest screw-up with all the others.
Maybe they’ll make a reappearance in a “booke”
sometime, or maybe they’ll just
serve as a reminder that everyone is flawed. Besides, who would even want to
read about perfect characters? How boring! After all, now that I think about it, bookes ARE
much better than books, wouldn't you agree?
